The Disidentification of Mrs Proctor

This week, I went and collected my mug from school. There's something very poignant about bringing home your work mug. Your work mug belongs at work, not in your house. Yet here mine is, sat in my kitchen waiting to be filled with 'chilled a bit too much to drink' tea yet again.  As much as I missed it, my mug is a stark reminder that I have failed what I started. I bought it a few years ago - My wonderful Emma Bridgewater, green and purple Suffragette trophy reminding me to be 'ambitious, brave and pioneering' and that 'strong women will change the world'. I unfortunately have not changed the world! And it was the realisation that I actually could not, which was the final push that I needed to find the courage to leave. I have been working in schools for twenty years - that is half of my life! My entire adult existence has been built around being a teacher; training, working, upskilling, planning, living and breathing... And do you know what? I'm good a...

"Nothing is absolute. Everything changes, everything moves, everything revolves, everything flies and goes away." I look back towards the beginning of February now and it seems so, so far away. I honestly can't believe how far I've come in a relatively short space of time. It helps that I'm incredibly stubborn and I've been supported by the best people out there, but I knew it was my time. As the 'breadwinner' of the house, time was not on my side - a factor that added to the stress in many ways, and was a massive contributory incentive to picking myself up and listening to my mind. I'm not a stranger to poor mental health. I have suffered from anxiety previously and have supported some very important and special people through the worst times in their lives (family and students!). I've also had the opportunity to experience the worst emotional pain I never knew was possible - overwhelming grief when I lost my dad. I think that this has been th...

  From the bottom up… So, it’s official. I have become a statistic! Out of the 78% of SENDCo’s that consider leaving the profession every year, I have joined the 12% that have. I am done! A little bit of background about me – I have dedicated my career to students with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities. I graduated with a Music degree in 2005 and originally wanted to be a Music Therapist, before the opportunity to train to teach Music at an SEMH school was given to me on a plate – and here I have been since. In that time I have worked in three schools, two specialist, and the final being a mainstream. I joined the mainstream school working within the brand new resource provision. I successfully applied to be the assistant head and 18 months later, was promoted to whole school SENDCo. This is where the end began! I’m not going to go into too much detail about the trials and tribulations of being a SENDCo, but in all honesty, it is the worst job in the history of jobs! A bro...